The following is an excerpt from my book, DirectedThougths: A New Way to Think About Thinking:
Situations that cause immediate, deeply negative emotions could be anything from finding out you might lose your job, to finding out your partner wants a divorce, to finding out about a health issue, to finding out that you owe money you don’t have. Basically, anything that causes you to get that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach.
1. Know that your ego is going to induce fear, as this is usually the first intense emotion when faced with a deeply negative situation.
2. Remember, at this very moment, you are okay. You are breathing, you are alive, you are in the present moment, and you can choose your thoughts.
3. Take a slow, deep breath. Take another slow, deep breath.
4. Right now, you must trust in the outcome of each present moment, not the outcome of a worrisome future that is not real.
5. Something major like this should be dealt with in the present moment, not haphazardly in and out of your normal day's tasks.
6. Make an appointment with yourself to work through the items you need to do in order to feel safe in that moment.
7. This may be an appointment later in the day once you calm down or later in the week. But this must be a scheduled time set aside to begin working on a solution.
If you do not schedule time with yourself to work through this negative situation, your ego, which is running in the background of your mind, will generate fearful thoughts and emotions all day long.
However, if you know you are going to sit down and figure out your solution in the present moment with a clear head, you will be able to direct your thoughts away from the ego. Your ego may rise up again and again, but you can tell it each time that you will deal with this issue on your terms and in the present moment at the time you have set.
Remember, you are going to take action at some point. You might as well control when and how you do it.
Note: By the end of this book, you will have tools on how to speak to yourself, trust, find gratitude and create intentional attraction, so keep going!
If the ego doesn’t stop chattering, take time to get into the present moment and think about the outcome you want to happen, not the fear-based outcome your ego is creating, but really visualize the positive outcome you want to happen. Keep in mind, this does not have to be the final outcome, and it’s your imagination, so don’t be bashful.
Then, as you go about your day, remind yourself that you have an appointment to sit down and design a plan to make your visualization come true.
When you do sit down at your appointed time:
1. Write out your preferred outcome to this problem in detail.
2. Then, create a list of items that you’ll need to do to see this outcome to fruition.
3. Put each of those items in its own individual column, and then, under each item, add three or four bullets about how you will complete them.
4. Then, under each bullet, add a few actionable steps to complete that item.
5. Finally, make a timeline for each item.
Tip: Doing this creates belief and trust in your go forward plan and will help you have positive feelings toward your approach rather than fear or worry.
Creating an appointment with yourself is especially helpful if you have to focus on your work, kids, or other tasks that need accomplished despite the negative thing that has just happened to you. Stay vigilant about keeping your thoughts on what you are presently accomplishing so you don’t suddenly revert to autopilot thinking.
If fear or worry begin to creep in, know you already have a planned appointment to think consciously about your next steps. Remind yourself you will have an action plan you can trust.
Remember, the know-it-all ego cannot be trusted. It will try to overtake the voice of your higher self and bring chaos into your mind. Remind yourself that you do not need to believe the ego. You have the ability to let its panic move through you while recognizing it’s just the ego, and you have the real control.
Remember to breathe.
Tell yourself worrying accomplishes nothing other than generating more fear and worry.
Give yourself permission to feel a sense of peace.
Note: It will feel strange to feel actual peace in negative situations. Don't let this strange feeling alarm you. It will feel awkward, like you should be doing something right now, freaking out, and panicking. But you have already made an appointment with yourself to determine your next steps, so you do not need to have heaviness on your heart!
Learn how to move from anxiety and worry into confidently making your life happen--on your terms, regardless of what is happening around you. Grab a copy of my book, A New Way to Think About Thinking: How to Control Your Thoughts, Create Your Own Happiness, and Manifest Your Best Life on Amazon.